Thanks so much for clicking on this blog title. . . we will get straight to the quiz in just a moment.
But how many of you out there are on various social media sites? Okay. . . okay, you can put your hands down.
How many of you are tired of ALL the quizzes on these sites?
I for one am . . . all the way from "What Disney Princess are you?" to "How Awesome is Your Husband?"
For one . . . I am nearly 50 years old, I am NOT quite bored enough to take an online quiz to tell me which Disney Princess I am. . . I am pretty sure I am NOT a Disney Princess! I don't have any of the right clothes, a lyrical singing voice or any singing woodland creatures at my window.
As for the "Awesomeness" of my husband, well I don't need to take a quiz for that.
So here is your marriage quiz. Be sure to check your score at the end of the quiz to see how your marriage is doing.
1. Are you married? +10
2. Do you have a marriage license from a governing body? +10
3. Are you currently separated or in the process of divorce? -20
SCROLL DOWN TO SEE YOUR SCORE!
Less than 10 pts. - YOU are NOT married (or close to not being married anymore)
10 pts. - YOU are married.
20 pts. - YOU are LEGALLY married.
Seriously, the whole concept behind the online quiz is to collect personal data about you and/or to keep you online and on their site so advertisers will pay them. If you think about it why would anyone go to all the trouble of creating an online quiz just to be . . . uh funny.
Oh wait. . . I just did that. LOL!
Getting married is a lot easier than being married and staying married is way harder than that. I don't think there is any quiz or any app that can really tell you "how to be/stay married".
I did recently take a quiz about marriage . . . NOT on facebook.
You can also download a PDF version that you can fill out on paper.
Lately, with Reese's getting married next year there has been a lot of discussion about marriage around our house. Plus, this was one of the assignments in their counseling sessions . . . AND I have a lot of curiosity.
But I found out more about myself that I did about my spouse. Probably because Santa didn't put much weight in the results of the quiz. But I was surprised by the results.
The gist of the quiz is to find out what YOUR love language is and then you can begin to see why some things that your spouse does don't "say" love to you where other things mean a lot to you and make you feel loved.
I found out that I prefer physical touch to gifts and quality time to acts of service. That doesn't mean I don't like or appreciate these other things it only means that these "languages" speak to me more clearly "I love you" than the others.
That's all this quiz can do.
There is no magic button for marriage. If I have learned anything these past few years it is that there is no ONE solution to marriage problems.
Look at it like this . . .
. . . your parents (right or wrong) raised you a certain way.
. . . your spouse's parents (right or wrong) raised him/her a certain way.
Now you are trying to combine those two methods (right or wrong) into a household for your own family. Some people can try to overcome their individual family experiences if it was particularly wrong or they perceived it to be wrong. But in the end, you have no other example to go by and may not be an effective communicator of love to your spouse.
You can love someone with all that you are and they may never feel loved. It's true.
Santa and I are together 24/7 (well, practically 24/7 . . . there are times when we are apart). We live together, play together, work together, eat lunch together every day. People ask me all the time, how can you work with your husband? It seems so foreign to a lot of married couples and that's fine. But for us it works. I think my husband is the best! I truly do, but if you met him you might not think so. That's because of my experiences and the place I am in my life right now. Your experiences are your own, and that's one of the reasons you didn't marry MY husband. Just because you don't work with your husband or spend 24/7 with your husband doesn't make your marriage wrong . . . just different from ours. Who is to say we are not the "wrong" ones for doing it this way?
You have friends right now that you think . . . "I could NEVER be married to her husband." You know you do.
You may have friends that you think . . . "Aww he is so sweet, I wish I was married to her husband."
Whichever way it is you need to look at YOUR own relationship and don't worry so much about other people: what they think of yours or what you think of theirs.
Comparison is the thief of Joy!
If your spouse shows you love and you feel love. . . what difference does it make what Mrs. Jones has? Besides what she has is only a glimpse into her life. She only shows you what she wants you to see . . . not the dirty underwear in the middle of the bedroom. . . . or the countless nights of arguing . . . just the roses her husband sent "for no reason".
Just like anything else the "5 Love Languages" quiz won't save your marriage if it needs to be saved. It may not even help at all. You and your spouse are still only human. The people who developed the quiz are only human.
The only . . . and I mean ONLY one who is able to love you perfectly in YOUR love language is Jesus Christ. He died for you and he continues to seek you and a relationship with you because of his unchanging love for YOU! The great (and kind-a crazy thing) is that as much as He loves you in your own language . . . He loves me as much in my own language . . . all at the same time. Because He's God!