Have you ever asked your spouse (or GF/BF) this question?
Are we breaking up?
The relationship you have with your husband or wife is completely and totally none of my business but I was just wondering.
More than this have you ever had the “DTR” or the “define the relationship” discussion with your partner? I think when I was younger we were more likely to ask “Are we breaking up?” than to ask someone to “define the relationship”. Different times I guess.
DTR discussion is when a person asks their BF/GF where the relationship is going. You know, are we going to stop dating other people and be exclusive to each other. Or are we going to get engaged one day? Or are we headed to marriage? Some kind of discussion like that . . . this tells both parties exactly where they think their relationship is headed.
I compared it to a BF/GF relationship to our students. If you made the decision to “go out” or to move from the “talking” stage to actually being in a relationship . . . and then you never texted, or called, or hung out with that person, would they KNOW they were in a relationship with you? Or what if you only told that other person things to do every time you saw them?
In our lesson from “not a fan” from Kyle Idleman’s book by the same name, we heard about “DTR”. I had never heard about it before, but it made me think about my own relationship with Jesus Christ and where it was progressively. Was I further along than when I first became a Christian all those years ago?
If I am being totally honest with all of you. . .I had quiet time, seriously. But it had turned into a “honey do” list. Here are all the things I want You to work on, Jesus, and while you are out healing these people and softening the hearts of these people, and rearranging the circumstances for those people . . . I’ll be over here doing my own thing. Making my own plans and living my own life and we’ll get back together same time tomorrow and I’ll give you a new list a things to do.
It was a hard lesson to hear.
Here’s the point. . . . if you were face to face with Jesus, would He ask you this question . . . “Are we breaking up?”
In relationships, we sometimes become distant, non-responsive to our significant other. We argue, slam doors, storm off in a rage. Many times it’s because we don’t get our way. We are babies.
After you walked down that aisle and made that conscious decision to follow Jesus . . . did you think you were done?
Or . . . do you know that you should be communicating with Jesus Christ and you are just being a baby? Have you stormed off because YOU didn’t get YOUR way?
This is what the Bible says:
"I know you inside and out, and find little to my liking. You're not cold, you're not hot—far better to be either cold or hot! You're stale. You're stagnant. You make me want to vomit. You brag, 'I'm rich, I've got it made, I need nothing from anyone,' oblivious that in fact you're a pitiful, blind beggar, threadbare and homeless.
"Here's what I want you to do: Buy your gold from me, gold that's been through the refiner's fire. Then you'll be rich. Buy your clothes from me, clothes designed in Heaven. You've gone around half-naked long enough. And buy medicine for your eyes from me so you can see, really see.
"The people I love, I call to account—prod and correct and guide so that they'll live at their best. Up on your feet, then! About face! Run after God!
"Look at me. I stand at the door. I knock. If you hear me call and open the door, I'll come right in and sit down to supper with you. Conquerors will sit alongside me at the head table, just as I, having conquered, took the place of honor at the side of my Father. That's my gift to the conquerors!
"Are your ears awake? Listen. Listen to the Wind Words, the Spirit blowing through the churches."
Revelation 3:15-22 (MSG)
The really cool thing . . . the thing that gets me every time, is that He does know me inside out and He still loves me, and wants to be in a relationship with me.
He is standing waiting for YOU to open the door. You can turn around and run after Jesus right now.