Saturday, October 23, 2010

30 Days of Truth - Day 3




Something you have to forgive yourself for is the TRUTH for Day 3! ~ YIKES!~


Do I really want to say that outloud?


Okay!  Here goes . . . for getting divorced.  I have come to terms with a lot of things in my life, but the one thing that I feel I have failed at over and over is getting divorced.  Even though I am happier than I have ever been . . . even though I stopped caring for my first husband almost 2 years before I left. . . even though my ex-husband is no longer with us . . . some things you just aren't supposed to do and divorce is one of the big ones for me.  


You may be thinking "What's the big deal?"  Yeah, I know, right?  Everybody is divorced now days . . . still it doesn't make it right, and it is something that makes me feel like a failure.  


I was in a disaster of a marriage, without trust or true love or sacrifice or respect.  It was emotionally damaging to me and probably to my two daughters as well, but I still haven't forgiven myself 100%.  I look at their lives and wonder how different they would be if I hadn't gotten divorced, but that could really go either way.  They might be worse off.


Don't get the wrong idea.  I don't REGRET getting divorced, but I haven't all the way forgiven myself.  Even though I know Jesus has, is that weird?  I love Santa, more than I ever even knew I was capable of loving another person.  I really and truly love him and having that love  . . . is the only thing that makes me want to forgive myself a little bit, you know?


So yeah . . . I have to forgive myself for that!  I don't wallow in it every day, but hey that was the prompt for today . . .so now you know.  What about you?  Are you following along and participating in THE TRUTH?

Photobucket

2 comments:

  1. Harley riding today, should be able to post some pics (hopefully) when we get back!

    ReplyDelete
  2. No, not participating in THE TRUTH...might make me face stuff I'd rather not..LOL

    New follower from Over 40!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks so much for leaving a comment . . .I just love them!!