Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Pour Your Heart Out - Ephesians 5:22-24

(skip on over to Things I Can't Say to read more heart felt stories)

Okay, I obviously don't have a problem saying what I mean on my blog.  If you don't like what you read, I don't mind.  Hey, I thought all these words BEFORE you commented, so why should I mind if you disagree. Comment away, the comment boxes are open, so feel free.  As I have told you before I am an equal opportunity blogger.  LOL!

As many of you know, I finished Nancy Wilson's book "The Fruit of Her Hands", and it's not that I needed to read this book.  I knew these things (well, not all of them) but I have felt like my husband should be the "head" of me since I can remember.  Being submissive to my husband was not something I learned from my mom (sorry mom), but more something I learned from my grandmothers.  It was kinda just the way that it was.

I wish more young women today had mothers and grandmothers who were submissive to their husbands and could "show" them the way to be.  

I was reading Kerry over at Daughter of I Am  and her blog got my curiosity going this morning.  She was talking about men not being able to find things on a trailer or in my case refrigerator.  I had always wondered about it, but never had given it much thought before.  But today, I actually looked it up, "Why Men Can't Find Things":
Well, don't be too angry with your hubby who can't find the ketchup "right in front of his face" in the fridge. . . he can't help it.

Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.  Ephesians 5:22-24

This is what I found:
Seems it is the way he is made.  

Women have extended peripheral vision.  A full 45 degrees on either side and above and below her eyes.  This along with a hormone which creates brain connections by matching things up based on their relative location and association with other things, may explain why we can find things that have eluded our husbands.  
Has your hubby ever asked, "Where's the ketchup?" while standing in front of the open fridge.  Without even looking up from your blog, you can answer, "Behind that can of Redi-Whip that needs to be thrown out, on the top shelf right-hand side."  That's how the female brain works.  Objects are associated by location, shape and color and to objects in their vicinity.  
When a man looks for something he his brain associates a word with the object.  He's just wired differently.  Hubby's vision is also different, kind of like binoculars.  He can see long distances more clearly than we ladies can.  His hearing and vision are both designed for focusing on what is coming up and being able to concentrate without distraction.  That's what he needs you for, the distractions that seem to dominate your life, must be dealt with so your husband can continue to focus on the horizon or your future (if you will).

Also a woman's brain rarely "tunes out", so when you are going to bed your hubby is in sleep mode and his brain has wound down to around 75% activity, while your brain is still clipping along at 90% activity rate.  That may explain why he can fall asleep faster than you or that he doesn't remember what you talked about before you went to sleep.

This made me think that gay couples just don't work.  No matter how much you adapt emotionally to play the role of the male or the female in a relationship, there is no way you can adapt your vision or your hearing to become a woman or a man.  Even if you have a sex change operation, it won't alter your vision or the way your brain processes sounds.  God did not make men and women with these differences on accident.  It was His divine plan, for the woman to handle the distractions for the man and for the man to handle the focus and direction for the woman.  They are a team and when they are married they become one, because honestly they "need" each other.  

I believe this is why the man was given the responsibility and the physical attributes required to lead his family. While he is looking at the horizon and clearly seeing into the distance, she is tending to the family and organizing and inventorying all things at home.  This also may be why women feel "frustrated" when things are out of place.  If our brains, continually scan and record and inventory the things in our home, having things out of place can be frustrating because your brain is having to re-inventory an area of your house because things have moved around.

Sometimes just knowing these differences help me to know what to be upset about and what to accept as something that I cannot change.  Knowing that my husband isn't ignoring me, that he honestly doesn't hear what I have said makes me more understanding.  Knowing that my husband doesn't associate things by what they are next to, makes me realize he may need help when something is not where he left it.  

I love to find out the differences between men and women, because it punctuates the fact that God made man and then realized he needed a helper.  Genesis 2:21-25 We are our husbands helpers.  Our husbands need our help.  So are you . . . (*whispers*) helping?


  1. And here I thought dh just didn't listen to me...LOL

    Very interesting.

    I do believe in being a submissive wife. Outspoken me- most people have a hard time believing it, but I am. Or at least, I try to be.

    Thanks for linking up!

  2. Interesting Post. I do agree in what you say. Sometimes I think it'd be easier if our brains wern't so different though :)
    Like I always say to my hubby "Why can't you read my mind? mom can"


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