Thursday, February 25, 2010

Be the Mom

This is Santa and his wonderful mom.

I struggle sometimes with what God "really" wants me to be doing, and I have been struggling with this for years. How do I know what God wants me to do, "for real". Some things have been rolling through my head for the past few weeks since my daughters father died on February 6th, 2010. And last night while I was driving home from visiting my great-granddaughter, it really hit me. (Believe me, it has hit me many times, this was just another example. I'm kind of a slow learner, as you will see if you keep coming back.) This whole "Be the Mom" thing that God has practically been screaming to me for years HIT ME! (. . . . albeit AGAIN.)

About fourteen years ago, (1996 or so) I had attended a women's conference, and was really trying to find out what God wanted me to do. I was searching for meaning for my life. I wanted to do something, I hadn't given in to the pressure of going to college just yet. I wanted to take a huge step in my spiritual life. I wanted to do "kingdom changing" things for Jesus.

The Women of Faith conferences were great. --I am not a follower, I am a rebel. Quite literally, as many of my church member friends will tell you. I try to follow what Jesus is telling me, but by no means do I follow the "Christian norm" or the latest "Christian hype or trend". --I loved to hear the speakers and their testimonies, but I was really searching for an answer to my question. Some of the other ladies in the group, would go out in the foyer after the sessions, and fill their arms with books and cd's and t-shirts and "crap" (pardon the expression) . . . while I bought nothing.

We finished the conference and on the way home, my friend asked me what I was going to "do for God" she had a plan to start a new program at our church and this conference had inspired her. She was now on a mission. But I had nothing. I told her that God hadn't told me yet, and I would have to get back to her after I talked to Him. Which, of course, doesn't sit well with the Christian-norm. I mean, seriously, that's what you do, right? Go to a conference . . .check. Get inspired . . . check. Start a new project for God . . . check.

Not me. God was not telling me to start a project. Actually, he wasn't telling me to give my testimony in front of my Sunday School class, or in front of our church, or to sing a special. He just kept saying, (which I thought was kind of dumb, sorry God, but You know I did) . . . Be the Mom.

Okay, seriously? Be the Mom?

I just went to a conference where all the women had changed their lives by writing thought-provoking books, or recording heart-felt Christian music or speaking at conferences. . . and I get, "Be the Mom". How weird is that? All these women, including some of the ladies at my church were inspired to start projects, or to rededicate their lives in some area to the kingdom . . . but all I kept hearing was "Be the Mom".

. . . I cried. No seriously, I cried. Be the Mom? Okay, that's kind of a rip-off God. First of all, I have four children, two of them don't even live with us and I physically can't have any more. The ones I have are past the stage of needing care, you know they are in school and they are potty trained and bathe themselves, and everything. My two oldest daughters still lived with their father in Florida, and I was just lost as to why God would be telling me to "Be the Mom". Especially, when I thought that was the very thing with which I had failed miserably.

In the next year or so I enrolled in college, to improve my life. I had to let go of some of my responsibilities at my church because of the time involved in going to college, and that summer I got custody of my two oldest daughters from their father. Now I had four kids living at home, a full time job and college classes! Whoa! What was God thinking? . . . just "Be the Mom".

My college classes enabled me to help my two older daughters with their homework (Be the Mom). Letting go of some church obligations gave me more time with my children (Be the Mom). Going to college gave me a lot more confidence when I was dealing with the pressures of raising two "new" teenage girls. (Be the Mom). AND we were able to focus more attention on what was being taught in church which led my two younger children to accept Jesus as their Savior (Be the Mom).

"Be the Mom" these are my marching orders from my boss, God. God may be telling YOU to do something different, whether it is a project or to help someone that you wouldn't dream of helping before, or even going on a mission trip. God has made you the way YOU are for a reason. He pretty much knows what He is doing . . .even though we question Him all the time. He knows what He's doing . . .

This is God's Word on the subject: "As soon as Babylon's seventy years are up and not a day before, I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
Jeremiah 29:11

Be who you were created to be, don't try to be like anyone else. Don't try to be like some Christian singer, or conference speaker if that's not who you are. You are important to God's kingdom in the way that God made YOU.

The lives of four people was what God gave me the responsibility for, and now that has grown to step-children, grand-children and now great-grandchildren. Sometimes the simplest explanation is the one God wants you to hear, and sometimes it won't make sense because of all the Christian-hype around us, but He still speaks to me and I'm sure He will speak to you too, if you just listen.

God made me a hard-headed, slow-learner, stubborn rebel computer geek . . . and a MOM for a reason. He made you the way you are for a reason too.

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day.
Psalm 139:13-16

1 comment:

  1. And what a cool mom you are!!! I told Tammie that this weekend about you!!! Well Done!! Keep up the Good WOrks for him!!


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